I want to write about something that will help you. Or maybe it is something that will help me?
Something that will make you feel better.
Because the truth is …you look at that picture of the happy family, or the fun night out and you think you missed something. You think you weren’t invited. Or maybe that you aren’t cool enough? Or maybe you look at my page and see that I wrote a book and am traveling around and you wish you could do that. But that isn’t the whole story. You have to know that?
Because I look at your page and see your cute kids and your handsome husband and I just know your life is perfect. I look at your beautiful home and your manicured garden and wonder why I can’t have a home like that.
I do it too. We all do.
I see all the fun you had last weekend and wonder why my weekend was so hard and my kids so naughty and fighting all the time why my husband and I are bickering and the bills are piling up. I see the vacations you go on and can’t imagine it is anything but pure bliss, right? I look at the cool clothes you wear and wonder why I can’t put outfits together like that. I see that your life is better than mine. And you are prettier and you have more friends and look so damn good in a jog bra. And I have saggy boobs.
But I know better. I know none of this is reality. Some is, but it is only part of the story.
You know that too don’t you?
I know that behind the smiling pictures and the manicured lawn is a junk drawer where you stuff all your mismatched junk. I know that you fight with your husband and yell at your kids and maybe even drink too much sometimes. I know that when you get out of bed you don’t always look like that. And I know not every outfit you wear is cute. I know you have struggles and your feelings have been hurt. Or you are taking meds for depression, seeing a marriage therapist, or even struggling with addiction. I know you have questions about God, and you too think that guy who just walked down the street was super hot. Because you are human. I am human.
And aren’t we all broken and just stumbling through this life…together?
And Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, they build masks. Sometimes they build walls. Because we are looking at each other and only seeing the photoshopped picture or the edited words. Not always…but most of the time.
And it makes me sad. It makes me sad that we do that. It makes me sad that with one look at your phone your feelings can get hurt or your life that is working just fine, all of a sudden feels not so great. I see my kids do it, I do it, and I know you do it too.
When I write I like to encourage and offer hope. I like to give inspiration and motivation to combat this society of compare and despair of photoshopped models and lives lived with masks.
But, I am unsure what the answer is. I am unsure how to stop it.
I think it is to encourage all of us to stop the scrolling and stop the looking and start talking. To ask deeper questions and to sit and be with you instead of just look at you.
Because when I sit with you and talk with you, when I look you in the eye and have a conversation with you I know there is so much more. So much more than just your highlight reel. I want to see your behind the scenes. To see your vulnerablitiy and to know what is really going on in life. To open the door to that basement that is filled with junk you don’t want anyone to see so you shut the door.
We can put up the photos we can brag on our kids and we can laugh at the funny videos. That’s cool.
But let’s do more than that. Let’s ask the hard questions and let’s look each other in the eye. Let’s turn off the devices and sit and be with each other. Because we were made for so much more. We were made for connecting and being with one another! Made for connecting and living in community together. Not just an on-line community …but a real and honest and vulnerable community. Let’s go do that!
Ok?
If you haven’t seen this video (someone sent it to me after I wrote this) it is a MUST WATCH. Love it so so much!
XO
Lee
