I am done with envy.
Finished with jealousy.
Cleaning it out of my life. No more. Goodbye.
I never got a Cabbage Patch Kid nor was a part of Brownies. These two things have rubbed me the wrong way my entire life. Why didn’t I ever get that squishy chubby faced doll and why didn’t I ever have the opportunity to wear that cute little brown sash over my shoulder?
I was left out. Less than.
I attribute my inability to snuggle and cuddle to not having one of those sweet dolls. I attribute my lack of fashion sense and in ability to work well with others because I was never a Brownie.
Ewwww. These are gross thoughts to even be saying out loud. But…we all have these spots in our lives that keep us stuck.
Yes, first world problems. I get it. But, I don’t believe I am alone.
I want more more more.
Never enough, always striving and doing until we fall down exhausted in our beds. Living the dream right?
We as women often act like we are in the Hunger Games, as I wrote about HERE.
I could blame it on the media, blame it on how I was parented, but it really all comes down to how I view the world.
And the truth is…envy, jealousy, and always wanting more leave me feeling really sluggish. Not green like people say green with envy, but sluggish and mushy and slimy. Icky.
Spring break this year put me over the edge. Sent me back to the day of Christmas morning when everyone BUT me had a Cabbage Patch Doll. The Facebook feed was overflowing with beautiful sunsets, dolphin kisses, and fruity drinks. As a Minnesotan who has spent the last six months in the frozen tundra, it makes sense to get out and bask in the sunshine. But it felt as if the rest of the world was on a beach and I was stuck inside my dirty house with three whiny bored kids.
I was insanely jealous.
So why not stop looking at the Facebook feed? Why not make lemons out of lemonade? Instead I was paralzyed by my jealousy.
I started questioning myself and I realized that I was almost feeding off it; the pictures and the jealousy, letting it fuel my fire to prove once again these two things:
1. I was missing out.
2. I wasn’t good enough.
How does any of this pining after what others have or are doing make me feel good?
It doesn’t. And it is a big fat waste of energy.
So how do you stop it?
Turn your mind. Change the lens.
I sat my old self down and said, “Knock it off.”
Then I chose gratitude.
I started looking around at what I had. I started paying attention to what was right in front of me. And my family got off the couch and went and spent time together.
We didn’t need a beach. That was an excuse for me to stay in my misery. We needed time together doing stuff. We went rock climbing, roller skating, and best of all had meals together. It was so much fun.
I stopped looking over the fence at what everyone else was doing, and began (again…as this is a process) to pay attention to what was in my fence and find gratitude for it.
Then I changed my view…changed how I look at the pictures and the stories of others. Instead of, “Why can’t I?” or “Oh I wish!” I look through the pictures and say or write, “Look at them! Look at what they are doing. That is so wonderful. Yay for them!”
Celebrating others successes, celebrating with others for their joys is so much more fun than wishing it was mine.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma- which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuation.” – Steve Jobs
I am enough. I have enough. And I want to live in a world of …YAY YOU! Good Job and keep going friend!
Not a world of competition and jealousy.
I am done with it. Kaput. Sayonara. Won’t you join me?
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.” – E. E. Cummings
Here is a great article on this topic if you want to read more!
Press onward friends; be each other’s ALLY running together side-by-side saying YAY YOU!!